Still defining "complaint"

B"H

Even though I made it through Saturday without complaining (according to my own definition ;-), I haven't made it through another day since then. It's been one or two complaints every day. I think the time that's hardest is when I'm talking to someone else who is complaining about something. I do manage to get through some kvetch conversations without complaining myself, so I guess it'll come at some point.

I haven't quite finished reading "the book" yet. I read a bit more of it last night (I had finished most of it but was up to the penultimate chapter which contains stories of people who have finished 21 days without a complaint (or graduates????). I was at a pre-Passover boutique selling some of my artwork and jewelry and read some more during "light" (aka non-busy) times.

There do seem to be some more guidelines as to what constitutes complaining. I'm still figuring it all out -- stay tuned for more....

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My first day complaint free???

B"H

I guess I've settled on some ground rules for myself (since the book wasn't quite clear about this). First of all, I decided that anything I'm saying to inform but not meaning as a complaint isn't a complaint (especially when I tell the people who I'm talking to that it isn't intended as a complaint). Secondly, I still am not quite sure how to write articles without complaining (well, informing more than complaining, but some of it might be seen as complaining) and since I'm hoping to earn some money through my writing, I have to give myself some latitude in this area.

In any case, I managed to go through Shabbat and Saturday night (the secular day of Saturday) without complaining (according to my rules).

I'm still trying to find the best ways to word things without complaining. I hope that perchance I will figure this out as I go along.

I got my bracelet

B"H

Ok, so I got "The Bracelet" -- I initially put it on my left wrist (I have my watch on my right wrist). I moved it to my right wrist when I said "ouch" after bumping into something, and back to my left, I don't even remember why (I think it was something I said under my breath -- a complaint that I stopped in the middle).

I like "The Bracelet" -- first of all, it's my favorite color (purple) and secondly, it makes me very aware of what I'm saying. Now, mind you, I was aware of it before, but even with the awareness I had before, I have more of an awareness (and before I put on the bracelet, I wasn't penalizing myself for complaining, not that I consider moving it a penalty).

I still have to figure out how to ask for things or mention things that need to change without complaining (complaining without complaining????). But that, I suppose will come with time.

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Israel and it's Place in the World
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Vegetarianism: Getting Started 1
Vegetarianism: Getting Started 2
Rosh Hashana
Quick Vegan Cooking
Creating new recipes from old
Strong Biblical Women Part 3
Hanuka
About the Jewish Calendar
Witches and Morality
Presidential Trivia Quiz
Christmas and the Jewish Single
Math Hints 1 -- Adding Fractions
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Complaint free world -- my journey

B"H

About a week or so ago I got the book A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen. I started reading it soon after and found it interesting. I haven't finished the book just yet (though I've gotten pretty well along in it).

It's written by a minister and the basic raison d'etre of the book is to try to get people to stop complaining. It was quite interesting for me to see this book advertised in the catalog of one of my book clubs (I use the catalogs as an idea list for books to get from the library) because my sister had just said to me that I complain a lot (did she too much??? I don't recall..... ). I thought about that and sort of agreed. I guess I was "born to kvetch" (to use the title of another book I found in another catalog of one of my book clubs). A few friends and I even have an internet place to go to kvetch.

[For those of you who don't know what kvetch is, I got the definition from Webster's on line site: kvetch Listen to the pronunciation of 1kvetch Listen to the pronunciation of kvetch Pronunciation:\ˈkvech, ˈkfech\ Function: intransitive verb Etymology: Yiddish kvetshn, literally, to squeeze, pinch, from Middle High German quetschen Date: circa 1952 : to complain habitually : gripe ]

In any case, the book mentions a site where you can get the bracelet. "The bracelet" is a purple gumi (I wish I could come up with a good English word for gumi) "Live Strong" type of bracelet with the "Complaint Free World" logo on it. The purpose of the bracelet is to help you get to the initial goal of 21 days without complaining, criticizing or gossiping. You do this by moving the bracelet from one wrist to another whenever you complain. This makes you conscious of each complaint and makes you less and less likely to complain.

I ordered two of the bracelets on their web site (the cost for two initial bracelets is $.75 to cover shipping -- if you want a larger quantity, it's $5 for 5). I should be getting it soon. So I guess I'm kind of treating the period before I get the bracelet as a "free complaint zone" -- I'm not trying to complain (actually, I'm becoming more aware of each complaint), but I haven't done what he said to do -- coming up with a substitute for the bracelet (like a rubber band on your wrist or a paper clip in your pocket) that you can move when you complain.

So I got my "last licks" on Lashon Hara (Gossiping) which might not actually be L"H because it seems to be common knowledge (ok, a tenuous leniency at best) last night (I know, L"H on Shabbat is double-trouble).

The only things that I still have to deal with are:
1) How do you write articles without complaining?
2) How do I rephrase things to be positive but still express what I need to get across?

I have been trying to glean this information from the book, but I haven't yet found a way of doing this. As a born complainer, I was never taught how to not be negative and I'm trying to figure this one out. So, if you have any ideas, drop me a "line"

Check out my other blogs:

Israel and it's Place in the World
Jewish Singles
Strong Jewish Women

Check out my squidoo lenses (articles):
Strong Biblical Women
Strong Biblical Women 2
Why Be Vegetarian
Vegetarianism: Getting Started 1
Vegetarianism: Getting Started 2
Rosh Hashana
Quick Vegan Cooking
Creating new recipes from old
Strong Biblical Women Part 3
Hanuka
About the Jewish Calendar
Witches and Morality
Presidential Trivia Quiz
Christmas and the Jewish Single
Math Hints 1 -- Adding Fractions
Presidents1: George Washington

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